The pain of losing a loved one is a universal human experience, but when that loss is due to substance abuse, the impact can be particularly devastating. According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, nearly 108,000 people died from drug-related overdoses in 2022, making this a widespread occurrence for many.
Substance abuse can take many forms, from alcohol and prescription drugs to illegal substances like opioids and cocaine. Regardless of the substance involved, the consequences can be equally destructive not only for the person struggling with addiction but also for those who care for them. In this blog, we explore the effects of losing a loved one to substance abuse and how it shapes the lives of family members and friends left behind.
Related: Recognizing The Signs Of An Overdose
1. Shock and Denial
Losing a loved one to substance abuse often brings up emotions like anger, shock, and denial. When a person we care deeply about succumbs to addiction, it’s frequently difficult to wrap your head around the reality of the situation. We may find ourselves hoping they will recover, believing this is just a phase or temporary setback.
This denial can last for quite some time, especially for younger people. Denial can make it challenging to comprehend the gravity of the situation fully, and it may delay seeking help for both the addicted individual and their loved ones. Overcoming this initial shock and denial is crucial to beginning the healing process.
2. Guilt and Self-Blame
Arguably, the most challenging emotion for those who have lost a loved one to substance abuse is the immense guilt that comes with it. Friends and family members often question whether they could have done more to prevent their loved one’s addiction or to help them overcome it. This self-blame causes a cycle of feelings like guilt and regret. Ultimately, though, addiction is a disease with both genetic and environmental factors, and it’s not solely the fault of those around the person struggling with substance abuse.
In many situations, loved ones do everything in their power to help the person suffering, and it makes a minimal difference. Guilt and self-blame are primarily harmful to those experiencing the feelings and have no benefit or ability to bring the person back. Even so, many people face these emotions for months or even years following the loss.
3. The Rollercoaster of Emotions
The experience of loving someone with a substance abuse problem often entails a rollercoaster of emotions. There may be moments of optimism when the addicted individual appears to be on the path to recovery, only to be followed by relapses and setbacks. This cycle is emotionally exhausting and takes a toll on the health of the loved ones who are trying to support them. The constant back and forth makes it challenging to maintain a sense of stability. This emotional turbulence can have lasting effects, especially on children who witness these cycles, potentially impacting their mental health and development for years to come.
4. Impact on Relationships
Substance abuse can strain and fracture relationships in profound ways. The addicted individual may engage in behaviors that hurt and alienate those around them, such as lying, stealing, and manipulation. Trust is eroded, and the relationship may become defined by conflict and broken promises. For family members and friends, it can be incredibly challenging to separate the person they love from the addiction that has taken hold of them, making it challenging to maintain a healthy and supportive connection. Losing trust can have long-term implications, affecting how loved ones interact with others and form future relationships.
Related: The Devastating Impact of Drug Abuse On Families
5. Financial Strain
Substance abuse and financial hardship are often intertwined. The cost of treatment and medical bills is overwhelming, and addiction often leads to job loss, making financial stress that much worse. Loved ones might find themselves in a position where they must choose between enabling the addiction or cutting off financial support, both of which are agonizing decisions to make. The financial strain can compound the emotional toll of addiction, leading to further stress and hardship for the family.
6. Isolation and Stigma
The stigma surrounding addiction can lead to isolation and shame for family members and friends of those struggling with substance abuse, as well as for the person struggling with addiction. Society’s lack of understanding and compassion for addiction can make it challenging for loved ones and addicted individuals to reach out for help and support.
Many people suffer in silence, fearing judgment from others and blaming themselves for their or their loved one’s addiction. Breaking through the stigma is an essential step in the healing process for both the addicted individual and their support network. Seeking support groups and community resources can provide a safe space for sharing experiences and gaining support.
Related: How To Get A Loved One Into Rehab
7. Coping Mechanisms
To navigate the pain of losing a loved one to substance abuse, family members and friends need to develop healthy coping mechanisms. Some may find solace in support groups and therapy, where they can share their experiences with others who have faced similar challenges. Others may turn to creative outlets, exercise, or mindfulness practices to help manage their stress and emotions. Coping with loss healthily is essential to prevent the negative impact of grief from lingering for years. Turning to a substance of any kind as a coping mechanism should be avoided despite the temptation.
8. Getting Help from a Professional
Professional help is often necessary for both the addicted individual and their loved ones at some point. Therapy and counseling guide how to cope with the emotions and difficulties that inevitably arise from addiction. Family therapy can be particularly beneficial for addressing communication breakdowns and rebuilding trust within the family unit. In some cases, interventions might even be necessary to encourage the addicted person to seek treatment. When it comes to loss, therapy can help guide loved ones through the grieving process and provide a safe space to express their feelings and find healing.
9. Finding Healing
Finding meaning and healing after losing a loved one to substance abuse is a deeply personal and ongoing process. It could involve forgiving oneself for perceived failures, focusing on self-care, and finding personal ways to honor the memory of the person who was lost. Channeling your energy into something positive, such as volunteering or advocacy, can help reduce negative feelings that are likely to bubble up periodically. Healing is not linear, but moving forward with time and the proper support is possible.
Final Thoughts
Losing a loved one to substance abuse is a heart-wrenching experience that leaves a lasting impact on those who care for them. Relationships may be strained, finances may be stretched thin, and isolation and stigma can add another layer to the pain. Fortunately, healing from the loss is possible with the proper support and coping mechanisms. Addiction is a challenging adversary, but with love and understanding, it’s likely to find peace, even with such a devastating loss.
New Dimensions Can Help!
You do not have to face a devastating loss alone. New Dimensions specializes in helping individuals overcome bereavement and grief that can feel overwhelming. Help is just a phone call away: 800-685-9796. We have partial hospitalization and intensive outpatient day programs for adults, adolescents, and their families at New Dimensions. Visit our website at New Dimensions Day Treatment Centers.
References
National Institute on Drug Abuse. (n.d.). Overdose death rates. National Institutes of Health. https://nida.nih.gov/research-topics/trends-statistics/overdose-death-rates
Kuppens, S., Moore, S. C., Gross, V., Lowthian, E., & Siddaway, A. P. (2020). The Enduring Effects of Parental Alcohol, Tobacco, and Drug Use on Child Well-being: A Multilevel Meta-Analysis. Development and psychopathology, 32(2), 765–778. https://doi.org/10.1017/S0954579419000749
Yang, L. H., Wong, L. Y., Grivel, M. M., & Hasin, D. S. (2017). Stigma and substance use disorders: an international phenomenon. Current opinion in psychiatry, 30(5), 378–388. https://doi.org/10.1097/YCO.0000000000000351