It can be difficult and nerve-wracking to talk to a loved one about your concerns. If you’re interested in talking to a spouse, friend, child, sibling, or coworker about their potential anxiety, you’ve come to the right place.
If you’re struggling with where to begin, please know that you are not alone. Knowing how to reach out and connect with someone about a mental health concern can feel uneasy. But it’s critical to remember that you do not have to be a medical professional or mental health clinician to support your loved one. Engaging with them could be the crucial moment that turns things around for them or even saves their life.
Let’s explore a few common questions people want to know when they’re in a situation just like you.
When and Where Should I Talk to My Loved One About Anxiety?
Choose a time and place where you can talk openly and easily, without feeling as though you are being rushed or distracted. Your friend or loved one may need to think that you have all the time in the world but be sure that the time is right for both of you. It’s also best if your friend or loved one is calm when you have this discussion, and it’s best if you are too.
If you’re unsure where to have the conversation, try having it while doing an enjoyable, relaxing activity. It’s easier to talk to someone while engaged in an activity—cooking dinner, playing a board game, or cleaning up the kitchen together.
When you’re having a serious conversation with someone you care about, create time in a comfortable environment to explore and express any emotions that arise.
How Do I Start the Conversation About My Concerns?
Sometimes we feel anxious before speaking because we fear saying the wrong thing. Have you felt this way? If so, here are a few conversation starters to consider when planning your conversation about anxiety with a loved one:
- How are things with you lately? Do you know that I am here to support you, no matter what?
- How is work or school going? Is there anything I can do to help you right now?
- I love you, and I’m here for you. I don’t know what you’re going through, but I hope we can get through it together.
- It seems like you’ve had a lot on your mind lately. Would you want to talk about it? I care about you and want to support you however you need.
At first, they may respond to your questions generally with “everything’s fine” or “all is good, thanks.” You can follow up with a question like, “but how are you really feeling?”
As you continue talking with them and they start to open up about their emotions, show you’re actively listening through non-verbal cues like eye contact and head nods. Reassure them, reiterate how much you care for them, and ask open-ended questions to keep the conversation flowing.
The bottom line is to let your loved one know that you care and are concerned. If you approach the topic with compassion and love, you will not go wrong.
Is There Anything I Should Avoid Saying?
You might want to make your friend or loved one feel less alone by telling them that all people experience stress, but it’s essential to recognize the difference between stress and clinical anxiety. Stress is low-grade; anxiety is a pervasive, physical response triggered by a perceived threat. Please do your best not to dismiss their concerns about feeling anxious or depressed. If you’re worried about saying the wrong thing, here are a few phrases to try and steer clear of:
- You know there isn’t any need to panic, right?
- It’s completely normal. Everyone gets stressed out from time to time.
- If you try to stop worrying, you might feel a lot better.
- I get the anxiety you’re experiencing; I have a lot going on too.
All that said, even when you are trying your best to be a good friend, parent, or partner, no one’s perfect. It’s okay not to know what to do or say, and it’s okay to be afraid that you might say something wrong. Most importantly, you commit to being there when your friend or loved one is going through a tough time. Keep focusing on them and their experiences; let them know that they can rely on you.
The Conversation Ended. What Now?
Make sure to check in on your friend after the conversation. Keep your word that you plan to support their journey by being there for them when they need you. It may take more than one initial conversation for your loved one to open up. Remain patient, be available when they’re ready to discuss their experience again, and actively listen to whatever they share without judgment.
Additional next steps can be to help your friend or loved one develop a plan for how best to move forward. Offer to help them research mental health providers, set up appointments on their behalf, or accompany them to their sessions. You could also suggest they join an online forum to connect with people going through similar issues.
Helping those you love to manage mental health challenges requires time and patience. If you remain concerned about approaching them, consider talking to a professional yourself about your worries. Depression and anxiety often coexist, and many people (but not all people) who are diagnosed with one condition also experience the other.
New Dimensions Can Help
New Dimensions Day Treatment Centers provide Partial Day Hospitalization and Intensive Outpatient Treatment programs for adolescents and adults. We provide treatment to address mental health and substance abuse issues. To learn more about our treatment programs, visit our website at www.nddtreatment.com or contact us at 800-685-9796. To learn more about individual, family, and couples counseling visit www.mhthrive.com.
Keywords: Anxiety; Depression; Anxious spouse; Depressed spouse; Anxious loved one; Depressed loved one; Supporting a depressed spouse; Supporting an anxious spouse; Loved one with depression; Loved one with anxiety
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